Antonella Lerca Duda, Romania (she/her)

18 September 2025

Hello, I'm Antonella. I'm a trans Roma woman sex worker. And I live in Bucharest, in this European capital [laughs], which is still transphobic, but okay...And I don't know, ask me, I don't know what to tell you...I'm a human rights activist, trans activist, political candidate, writer, I wrote a book, so yeah, I do a lot of stuff.

Can you tell me about your youth growing up in the countryside? How was it?

Yeah, it was hard because my childhood was very hard. When I was 14 years old, my family married me with a girl by force. But on the night of the wedding, when everyone expected me to do something with the girl, I didn't do it. I remember now there was like me and the girl closing the hotel room. They closed us in with the key and they say, do your stuff here. So in the morning the girl will say, yes, we did what should we do. But in the night, I remember in this hotel room was a big, big bed, you no, big king size bed. She was like staying in the left side there with the dress, long, white, very beautiful dress. She was staying there on the bed. I stayed on the other side with a champagne wine, a bottle of wine in the hand. I was like 14 years, giving me wine at 14 years, crazy. Yeah, so I was also little. And I was like watching her and I said to her “get out, get out of the dress.” She was like starting to cry because she was thinking that I will take down her dress to have sex with her. I said “take down your dress”. She took it off because that was what she was supposed to do, that was her job. I take the dress and I put it on [laughs]. And I was like, “let me try, bitch”. And I say, “it looks better on me”. I left the dress on me, she was like shocked when she sees this, but I take the bottle of wine, drinking with the dress on, and I drink, drink, drink, sleep, fall asleep with the dress on me.

So, you have to imagine how it was in the day, the next day, in the morning when the family of the girl came and the family of mine came to be happy, to see that they had sex, we have the blood, she was innocent...and she finds me there lying down with the long white dress with the bottle of wine in the hand... oh my my, my father gets crazy and he punched me – “what are you doing?!” – la la la. My mother almost knew it [already] because the mother always feels, she almost knew that this will happen but she didn't expect it to happen. The family of the girl went crazy; they wanted a war with our family they say “what is this shame on our family?  Is not our girl enough for your boy? What's wrong with your boy why did he dress with the dress of the of the girl?” And they start fighting, so we made a big judgment – a Roma judgment [community arbitration] – and they said, my family said we're gonna find a way to solve the problem because, you know, in Roma community they would fight with...everything... violent and everything.  So, the best solution that they found it was to put me in a psychiatric hospital so in that way the doctor will say that I'm crazy so the family of the girl will forgive us, we give back the money and the gold and everything, and the family of the girl will forgive me because I'm crazy, so I cannot be married.

But the problem was that in nineteen-something, in 1998, I don't remember now, the problem was that the doctor didn't know what I have. In that time, nobody knew about gender dysphoria or transgender. So, the doctor always gave me a wrong diagnosis, like humour change, like double personality, any diagnosis beside gender dysphoria. And after two months inside of the psychiatric hospital: this is an experience I don't want to talk about because I hide it very far away because for a child of 14 years to be in a psychiatric hospital…it was the big trauma of my life. So I never talk about this because I hide it inside my brain. But in the period when I was in hospital, there were like these students from Morocco, from Casablanca, and like, the doctor is a professor at the university and they come with the students to show them the people like this who have this diagnosis, this have this…when they arrived to my bed: “this one we don't know what diagnosis to give him. He believes he's a woman, we think he's crazy.” And this student from Casablanca says, “Professor, I know what this person has.”

And the professor, very arrogant: “What do you know? You're a student.”

Like, “I know better because in my country, from 1989, we do this sex surgery in Morocco, in Casablanca. He has gender dysphoria.”

The teacher was now very, like, a child, a student to tell you what the diagnosis is?

Okay, okay, let's pass further. So, I had the diagnosis of gender dysphoria. So I can get out of the hospital. When I get out from the hospital, we have this diagnosis, so the family of the girl will forgive us. But – always this but – in that moment, my marginalisation begins, because inside of the Roma community, when you are sick or believe that you are crazy, people will marginalise you, will not talk to you, don't eat after you, don't stay on the same table with you. So, they started to take a side, and leave me on the other side.

But this helped me in a kind of way, because I started my transition, my adolescent transition, because I can dress in my long dress, I can put on my wigs, I can do make up, because everyone will believe I'm crazy, so let me be crazy then, no?

And I start, like this, to transition. At 14 years I started my transition and when I was 17 years there was this guy who came from Italy, a Roma guy from Italy, very cute, very nice. He was 25 years, you know, so he treated me very well, he was very good with me, he was like my saviour you know, and I liked it how he treated me: buying me cigarettes, buying me everything, and he says “Come with me in Italy, I'm gonna make your surgery, I'll make you a woman.”

When I heard that, I said, “Oh my God, this is beautiful for me, I will be a woman.”

But this, it would be the start of my prostitution. Because the boy didn't love me. He took me to Italy, we stay in a house with another three girls. I see always these three girls in another room by night, preparing makeup, going outside. I didn't know where. I thought they go to a club or something like this, a discotheque. After one week, two weeks, he starts to say that he can’t find a job, “you should try to do prostitution.”

And I was like, “What? What? I love you. I cannot fuck with other boys.”

He said, “No, it's okay, I'm not jealous.”

So, he does the lover boy method with me. So, I start working in sex work. First year he takes all my money, and he says he will give to my family to help. I never see money. I see yes, a dress, beautiful dress, makeup, but never money. Of course, I have food and cigarettes, but money, no. He always tells me, “I sent you to your mother 100 euro.” And I was happy like, okay, okay. But he never sent, he was lying to me. I didn't have documents, I was underage, I wasn’t even 18 when I went out with him.

So yeah, when I was 18 and a half, I was, like, starting to ask questions about what happening with all the money. It was like more than one year working, no money, I never see money, “what do you do with your money?” And I start to hide money from him, you know? And then the problem started. When I started to hide money from him, he was becoming violent. Alcohol, violence, playing with gambling. So yeah, I had problem with him for three months, four months, and the first three months was he beating me, but not on the face, on the body. But in the fourth month, he was so stupid, he left a mark on my face and the police saw me in the street with the mark. First time they asked me, “Where did you get this?” I said, “no, I fell down from the bicicletta.” but it wasn’t from the bicicletta, no, it was from the husband.

And they started to follow me to see what's happened to me, you know? One night – he would come out by night, he was coming with me at work to protect, so nobody kick me or something like that – and he was, like, behind me in some bushes, he was like hiding there to see if I work or not, you know, because he could see no more money because I hid the money from him. And he sees me, I go with a car and when I get out from the car, I take the money and I put it here on my breast, and he sees me and he comes and he beats me and the police come, boom. The police take us and ask me and him, me in one room, him in one room, ask me blah, blah, blah, blah, what's happening, why la, la, la, la. And I say, “yeah, I'm sick of him, take it, he's my pimp.” And they take him. And then I start to work on my own. I start to be friends with another trans woman from South America, who teaches me how to be more [comfortable with] womanhood.

And that, everything, was in Italy?

Yes. Everything happened in Italy, in Venezia. So, I started then my own life. I remember that three years after this happened, it was my first time coming to Romania, back for a visit to my family for Christmas. I brought them gifts and money and everything. And my mama says, “we didn't know nothing about you when you was with that boy.” 

Because I asked her, “mommy, did he ever send you money?”

“Never.”

He never sent money in one year, never sent money to my mother.

And how did your mother react, your family react, when you came back? You came back as a trans woman or…?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, when I left…from 14 years, they already know that I'm a trans woman, well, travesty, but they know. So when I come back to visit, I come only with the breasts. So I was like, one upgrade, one upgrade [laughs].

So, yeah, my father died, so I didn't know... I know that he was the most horrible person from my life. He was the only one who was against me, so when he died, he asked me for my name, you know? But I never forgave him, and I will never forgive…maybe I’ll forgive, I don't know, I'm not a bad person you know? I will not keep it in my in my soul to turn black, no. Maybe I forgive him or maybe I don't know how to…what, or how to do, but he was asking for my, for my, for my forgiveness when he was, like, dying...I didn't forgive him.

My mother said, please, but no, no, no. He was the most violent from my childhood, my father. He would take my hair and cut it with the knife, not with the...[scissors].

How do you deal with that psychological stuff about being Roma, being small [a child], being trans, and you have that father? How do you deal with that? Now you are older, a woman, and how do you – for example, when you sit alone in the room and you think about it – how do you think about it?

Why should I think about it? You know, it was my childhood, all the experiences from my childhood and from my youth, they are experiences which make me who I am today. So, every experience in my life, it's an experience. Bad or good, I don't care what is, it's an experience which makes me the strong woman that I am today. Maybe if I had, I don't know, maybe a more privileged life, I wouldn't be Antoneta today.

I think this childhood, hard childhood, made me want to fight, you know, made me start to fight against the system, against people who oppress me, against...everyone. So, I didn't have the power when I was little, I did not have the power to fight. So, I think it was the awakening of the queen that I am today [laughs]. It was the awakening of an activist, you know, and all the inequality, all the injustice, all the marginalisation, all the discrimination makes me stronger. Like I have seen everything in my life. I was more than 18 years a prostitute in the street. It's nothing that can impress me anymore. I’ve seen everything, I’ve seen even from the worst clients to the best ones. I’ve seen even dead people, I’ve seen everything, so I'm not impressed by anything you know because I’ve become, I don't, I don't know maybe sometimes I'm also scared about myself. I can become a robot you know, a robotic style an automatic style because...I’ve seen a lot of stuff, a lot of inequality, a lot of injustice, a lot of people crying, dying, fighting. So, I think to myself, I say, “what am I on this world when others are worse than me?” You know? I mean, if I don't speak about this, who’s gonna speak?

Okay, you told me because of your youth you started your activism. Do you remember the moment that you said to yourself, like Antonella, I have to fight for this?

Well, the day I went out from my house dressed as a woman, I had to fight with the society. Just being a trans woman, it's a kind of activism. You have to have the courage to go out against everyone, against...people, against your own community, against society, against everyone. So you start your activism. In my childhood, I started my activism when I was 14 years old and I stood up in front of them and I said, “I am a woman.” In that moment, it was activism. It was just a movement, a declaration, of who I am. So it's also a political statement, let's say, like this.

So, my activism started on that day that I went out as a woman. But if you want me to tell you about this activism, NGOs and conference and all that stuff, I started in 2018 when in Romania was the referendum against gay marriage. I saw that in Romania there was no trans movement, nobody talking about trans girls, and I came to Romania to open the streets [make them safe] for trans women. And today I'm happy that there are a lot of them who try to do this.

Did you have a problem with that because you are representing trans and you are Roma? Did you have a problem with the LGBTQ…?

Yeah, yes, yes, yes. LGBT community movement in Romania, is almost [entirely] led by white, privileged, male, cis, and gay people…and they are racist also with Roma.

Of course, we try to manage this, to solve it inside, but sometimes it's obvious, sometimes. It's not like – we try to educate them, but it's not my duty to educate people, you know? They should educate themselves. They should self-educate.

I'm not paid for that. My ancestors, my history, my Roma history, it's full of slavery. I will not be your slave to make you an activist about what is discrimination. Pay me, I can do that. If you pay me, I can do that. But I'm not, it's not my duty. You have to self-educate, because if you want to be an LGBT activist, then you have to be intersectional, and you have to fight for all people who are marginalised.

Just because you are gay, you're going to fight only for gay marriage. Fuck marriage. It's a kind of patriarchy, marriage. I don't care about marriage. My community suffer, we don't have food, we don't have [places] where to sleep, we don't have documents, hormonal therapy, we don't have a lot of stuff. Why should I pay attention more to the gay marriage than the hormonal therapy, document change, and safety of the trans community? Because we are not safe. For the most part, the most vulnerable part of the LGBT community are trans people, because we are the most visible. So, I don't care about the gay marriage, I want my trans rights, because my trans rights are more important than your gay marriage.

How do you stay safe when you talk about – because you're more visible – how do you stay safe on the streets?

I take pepper spray with me, and I did also, how to say, a school, like six months on self-defence, and yeah, I just try to every day when I see an argument start I can – I told you my experience of life, I can understand people very fast – so if I see I have a stupid one in my face and you cannot argue with him, I will let him win I will say “okay you are right bye-bye” I will not, I think, you know…let me tell you a little a short story that I learned when I was little:

One day, the tiger and the zebra came in front of the lion. The tiger said that the grass is green. The zebra says that the grass is blue, and they go to the king of the jungle, the lion.

The lion said, “What is happening?”

The tiger says, “Our dear king lion, I tell to the zebra that the grass is green.”

The zebra says to the lion, “No, my king, look my king, I eat grass every day, I know how it is, it's blue, I taste it every day.”

The lion says, “You tiger, you should never come again anymore to drink water from the savannah, you are banished from the savannah.”

And the zebra is happy, “yeah, yeah, yeah” and she goes out.

The tiger was like, “lion, are you the king of the jungle? How can you ban me from the jungle to drink water because of the zebra?”

“No, it's not because of the zebra. It's because of you, that you fell down to be as stupid as a zebra and you lowered your level of intelligence to argue with a zebra. That's why, not because of the green. The green is green, the grass is green, of course, I can see it. But you are so stupid that you argue with a zebra. You, a tiger. Eat her!”

So yeah, I also teach from, learn from that, that I will never argue with stupid people. Because you will never win. You never win with stupid people. It's better to let them win. So this is how I go in society also with people. When I see people who come and try to argue with me without any normal argument, because they will always use religion and stuff like this, I will let them win. I say, “okay, I have to go to my makeup artist. Bye-bye” [laughs].

Do you see the change now in the Roma community…

Yes.

…in how they see you?

Yes. You see how quick I say yes?

The Roma community in Romania is changing. We have a lot of queer people who are Roma, and I'm very, very happy that this thing happened. Once with all this social media, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, everyone get out and is coming out as queer people. And Roma people are more, it's more compressive with the LGBT community...

How do you mean compressive?

Comprehensive, like, the Roma it's more that they will accept more easily than the white people the LGBT community no? Roma will accept more easier because also Roma were discriminated by white gadje [non-Roma], so then they will understand what discrimination is. Of course we have also conservatives inside the Roma community, but they are not so loud sometimes, it depend on the on the issue.

So yeah, I'm happy, the queer community [amongst] Roma is growing. It's growing fast and young people, more and more people come out and try to do activism, try to change things and this is happening, I'm happy with that.

Do they, like, when they start, do they have a, like, idol in you. Do they call you?

No, no, no I'm not an idol.

No, not an idol, I don’t have – I didn't say it good in English...Uzor…How do you say it...like a role model?

Like an example?

No, not example. Do they call you like Antonella, we need something…no?

No, I'm not an example, no...they like what I do and they say “I like what you do, I wish to do also, come let's do together” but no, I don't believe in these idols or role model or examples because sometimes the biggest idol in your life can be the most disappointing in your life so it never...Just self-representation is very important. I always say that. When I was younger, I was thinking like this, I want to be a model for someone else. But now I'm older, I say, no, it's not okay to be a model for someone else because you have different backgrounds, different baggage full of emotions and full of living and trauma and everything. So no, everyone has to self-represent because your story is different than mine and there are many histories, many stories, and we should listen to them, to all of them, not only one.

You are doing now, like we’ve seen, like you are a streamer and you are a sex worker.

Yes, I do live streaming on social media. I will not give the name; I will just tell you that it's social media. And I try to manage, to make some money from the social media. And I also do sex work in the day, on the internet, in the house, I'm not going – in Romania I don't go on the street when I was in Italy, I go on the street but in Romania, no, because it's very dangerous. I was sometimes, I didn't get away and I got beaten by police and by people, so I stopped.

How was that, I know it's traumatic, but can we talk about like bad sides? Bad sides like...what is bad in that job?

Everything is bad! [laughs]

Sex work is work. This we should never argue about. Sex work is work. Even, it's harder work than to be a nurse or a fireworker or whatever. Because sex work has the risk to die. Because you never know who is the next guy who will come to your house. You never know if he has a knife with him, you never know what he wants you to do. So, it's basically like blackjack roulette with your life. Because you don't know who is the next one.

I was beaten a lot of times by clients. They were like stealing my money, my bag, even my wigs! [laughs] One time one guy stole my wig. I was like, shit, it's a 10 euro wig, but he stole it. I don't know, maybe he wanted to be a woman, I don't know. But yeah, they are stealing from me, they...Yeah, a lot of trauma in this work and it's hard to talk about them. That's why I made this livestream and I talk about my experiences as a sex worker and people, they want to know how is the life of a sex worker and they stay, like, thousands of people watching me and I tell them story time about my clients, about my life, about how it was.

It's uh, it's...hard because trans women don't get any job in Romania. It's hard to get any job because you don't have access to justice, you don't have access to education, blah, blah. All the story of the vulnerability and the privilege heals.

But the last chance that you have to live, to survive, is to do sex work. Even if you don't like it, you have to do it, because you have to eat, you have to transition, you have to pay for your hormones, you have to pay your rent, you have to pay for your makeup, you have to eat, you have to buy clothes, you know, you have to survive.

Where do you find strength? Where do you – no, really, I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding.

I don't know…sometimes people ask me this, it's not only you, even the television media: “Antonella, where do you find strength?” I don't know, I should ask Ana also, “Where do you find strength?”

I never had an answer for that, you know, it's just in me, you know, because I told you there are a lot of years of experience that gather together and make me like iron, because...nothing else could impress me now. So, all the beatings from the clients, all the bad situations, all the trauma from the work, all the police violence and aggression, they make me who I am today.

And that was my strength, you know, the violence and the trauma made me have this strength.

How do you manage psychologically? All the shit that you went through.

Oh, it's very hard to manage. Sometimes I do things which help me to release the bad energy. Like I like to do makeup, like therapy. I like to go outside with the bicicletta. I like to paint, I paint a lot...I like to paint. I like to make wigs, playing with the hair and I have a machine, sewing machine, now like to make a dress so I make wigs with that machine. That's all. I don't have other secrets. I don't have a secret. I am a person like everyone else in this world. Only my stress is more than another person, but I try to manage the best I can. Sometimes I also have my time when I'm crying and just when the cup is full, I just go in my room, close the door, put some music, start to cry and release my pain. But I don't have psychological help because there is not psychological help too much in Romania for trans people. The only psychological help for trans people is from one NGO, LGBT, but again, led by a cis woman, hetero, so I don't know.

You don't have like people around you from trans community that say like, okay, we need psychological help, does anybody finish psychology or something like that to make it?

My girls are so strong because the sex work makes you a strong person. They are so strong, and I know that they have a lot of depression and a lot of emotional damage, but they try to survive on their own. They don't ask for help. Trans girls don't ask for help. Trans girls do things on their own. I never ask for help. Sometimes I need help, but I know I will not receive it, so I will not ask anymore.

When I asked for help, nobody was there. When I asked for help, when I was in the middle of the street and clients violating me, and kicking me, and punching me, when I asked for help, nobody was there. So why should I ask for help anymore? Who’s gonna help me? You?

No, nobody helps trans woman. The only fake help, like, “look we have this trans Roma woman here for the checkbox” you know?

“We have a trans woman!” Checkbox. That's all.  It's a PR movement, an image…but we're not an image we are souls, we have emotions, we have trauma, and we need help, so… who’s gonna give us help? Nobody –  then, we do it on our own. And a lot of trans girls are starting to create solidarity between them and we help each other.

Can you tell me in your experience what makes a human being a human being?

I think, thoughts. Thinking, that makes you. But most people don't think [laughs]. Some people just act without thinking, and this makes him an animal. Because people, when they are violating a girl, they are acting sexual like an animal, so they don't think. So they are not a woman, they are not human.

Thinking make us human. The rest is only body and flesh. They will go away one day. But the thinking makes us who we are.

Tell me about your political career.

Oh, this is not a slow question! Well, I started my career politic, but I now I've stopped it. I started in 2020 when I wanted to be a candidate for a political place in Bucharest because I never seen a trans woman in Romania as a candidate, and I say I wanted to be a candidate.

I gathered together a couple of people, nice people from the left side and I made my team and we go out taking signatures from the people to be a candidate for this place. Unfortunately, it was the COVID pandemic, so I didn't win or take [a political place], but it was a good exercise, and it was creating history for other trans women or LGBT persons who want to [run as a] candidate, because they can see I [ran as a] candidate, nobody kill me, so you also can [run as a] candidate now.

So, I created a precedent. I created a precedent, and I'm happy that I was the one who did it. Now I’ve stopped, but I'm still talking on social media about politics when I see it, because, you know, this is one point of mine, a very good quality that I have…I understand how things work. When I was younger, I didn't understand how the things worked, now I understand. I understand capitalism, I understand patriarchy, I understand the system of oppression, I understand how the world works, you know? So, this is, if you have this quality to understand how the world works, it will help you understand people better. And when I see politics, and politics playing behind the scenes, and all this strategy, I can understand what's happening.

And I tell them, “Oh, bitch, I know already what you want to do.” So, I like politics. Politics is good for us, but on the other side, politics make us divided – separation – separating difference and different groups of person and people like minorities, sexual, religion, ethnic, colour. So, politics sometimes is bad, but politics sometimes can be good. It depends on how people use the politics, you know? I don't know who the fuck invent the politics, but I don't like it [laughs] Who invented this? I think Caesar in Rome [laughs]. Yes, I like politics, still like it. I'm still commenting on social media about what’s happening in politics on all levels, even national, international. Now I'm watching very much what's happening with this American stuff because there is this anti-gender movement that is created by religious people and conservative people. So, I'm very…How to say?...Worried. I'm very worried about how the future for the trans community will be. Because if we're going to go towards the right wing, and I can see in Europe we have the right wing winning, like in Germany, Austria, Hungary, we have a lot of right wing winning. This is bad for us…because politics influences our life.

So, yeah, it was a good experience. I met with a lot of Romanian people in the street, and they were like: they don't care if I'm trans or gay, they only care what I will do for them. And I say, “Even me as a trans woman, even you as a normal person, hetero, whatever, you also have garbage to do, you also have electricity, so let's do the stuff what [we need] to do, not what is between my legs.”

And of course, we had a lot of attacks from the church, from the right wing, from people, but I don't give a fuck about them because I know who I am, and they cannot do anything to me.

Yes, you are trying to be political here, like as a trans woman…but Romania doesn't allow you to change your name?

Yes, yes. When I [ran as a] candidate, it was with the name of a boy. So, it was hard for me to accept this compromise, but I accepted it. I say I will [be a] candidate with my name, with my dead name, because it was legal with my document. But we focused more on the family name, because my family name is almost neuter, like Lerka. So, you can say, Levka is not masculine, no feminine. It was a good one. So, we used this more, put it in bigger so people will know what to vote. But yeah, how to say? I was prepared for that. I knew what will come. It will come a lot of hate, a lot of violence. But in person, in all, it was nice. It was nice, it was a good experience, made me stronger, made me smarter, made me who I am today.

Tell me something that you think people outside your community, like Hetero, like me, in the whole Europe, need to know about trans women, trans Roma women, from Romania.

They should know that trans Roma women need protection. We need safety, we need protection. When you meet a trans Roma woman, respect her, treat her as your equal, and don't forget every trans Roma woman has a background full of trauma. So be patient with her, be, how to say, be nice, be kind. Kindness is for free, you know? So just be kind with us, because we also have hearts, we also have feelings, and most of the time trans feelings are hurt by the society and by the people.

Sometimes we can be aggressive on the first meeting, because we have this self-defence system that we get over the years, so we don't have trust in people, because people hurt us, people kick us, people…make jokes about us, so we don't know who is for real, kind, and who is for fake, kind. So, most of the time we don't give trust to the people. Like I even didn't give you trust. Yesterday I was talking with Anna, I say, “He looks nice, let me know him better, no?” And she says, “yeah, he's nice”, because we meet a lot of bad people, no? So, we don't have, we don't know who to trust anymore, like how I told you. I don't know who to trust anymore because maybe someone wants only to use me for his promotion, for his Pulitzer, for whatever, no? So, I know I get used a lot of the time, like for checking the beef, but...once, when I know, when you tell me, I prefer you tell me, “Antonella, I want this or this, to use this.” Yeah, I know this. But when you do it without telling me what you want to do with my… then this makes me feel bad. When you do it behind my back, that's bad.

 

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